"And if you're like me, you need hope, coffee, and a melody..."

THIS is why I love teaching

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 04:45:59 GMT

Written by Luis, one of my ESoL students, while in our regular English class:

"In my house a crazymouse play with me every time when I was in the house and I was angry because I can't trap the stupid mouse and one day the mouse eat many cheese and he was very fat then he can't run and then I put snare and go outside he was dead of many cheeses or queso."

It's time to re-define your deophobic mind...

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 19:02:28 GMT

found this video of skillet's here: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=725712838863fb1a260b
it deals with child abuse and rescue. good stuff.

and this is the video of Plumb's "Cut" (about self-mutilation, something that has hit home with me too many times when it came to people i love). http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=5f93b2906ef8917facca

Y'all might like this

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 16:04:22 GMT

Written by one of my co-teachers:

"Hard Drive of Room 107, Dillon High School, succumbed after a brief illness.

Hard Drive, also known as K-Way's Computer, was a veteran who previously served three tours of duty with distinction and without incident. Upon returning home, he joined the reserves and was injured in a skirmish between iTunes and PrintShop. Injured, but undeterred, he was able to successfully transfer important data to an outside source before being completely compromised. Later in life, he stored flipcharts, powerpoints and lesson plans. He is survived by a brother H. Drive of Maple [note from Miranda: Maple is our IT building] and a sister A. Drive of Floppy. He was preceded in death by both his mother, Gateway and his father Compaq."

if you become the change...what happens tomorrow?

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:57:43 GMT

ahhhh...what a great two days it has been. an exhausting two days, for sure, but great nonetheless.

my third block class started working on persuasive speeches yesterday and will hopefully present them tomorrow...i decided to choose the topic for them, so we're working on talking about the crisis in darfur. for the most part, they're actually getting interested. i found a video clip about it and then there is this neat rap song by Wu Tang (Remedy) called "never again" (about the holocaust and how it shouldn't happen again) that i played today. they loved it (especially when i started doing the robot LOL).

and i have to tell you about tre'--one of my third block kids. he's my favorite (well, one of them) and he works so hard and always does quality work. he turned in a project to me about two weeks ago and said, "ms. k, i didn't have a picture to glue on here, so i drew one, and then i didn't have glue for the other thing, so i made paste out of flour." and he DID! i could see the flour on the paper! it made my day.

anyway, tre' took his quiz the other day and responded to the question: "have you ever had a teacher or someone else take special interest in you and contribute to your success?" he said, "i had a teacher that help me pull my grades up for the year. this teacher was nice kind and careing. this teacher teaches 9th grade english classes. she helped me make up work. this teacher made my success."

*grins*

sometimes it's good to know that maybe i'm making a difference somewhere. i see so many kids every day, and they all have issues they are dealing with...two of mine that i know of have been raped by family members, several have had recent deaths in the family, and all of them are dealing with the frustrations of adolescence. and i want to see peace and hope and love and joy come into their lives. the only thing i really want out of life is to know that someone--student, friend, coworker, etc--has seen that i care. and i want that to be a reflection on the God i love.

i figure it's not my job to introduce them personally to Jesus, but hey, they can at least meet Him when they look at me.

i can totally dig that.

"I believe
That we're all waking up,
From a spell
That those that profit from the fear,
Cast so well.
The good people of the earth,
Now can tell,
There is no 'us and them'! "
--melissa etheridge

Sound device

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:50:05 GMT

We did some review for the mid-term in Eng. 1 today. When asked what assonance is, one of my students replied, "It's not having sex until you're married."

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 13:20:18 GMT

"Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning
In Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know You've cast my sin as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before You now
As though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the East is from the West?
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
Cause You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth Your word reveals
And I'm not holding onto You
But You're holding onto me
You're holding onto me

Jesus, You know just how far the East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I've been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
Cause You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other"
--Casting Crowns

I don't normally cry at school...

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:50:24 GMT

but this did it for me. Please go check it out...It's a five-minute clip of a skit done to Lifehouse's "Everything" on what would seem to be a cheesy website, but it's phenomenal and is my heart's cry...there are so many people in my life whose lives are in pieces, and it breaks my heart.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

a must

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 23:33:30 GMT

you guys have to go check out my friend hollis roberts' music. go here: http://www.holliselisabeth.com
at the bottom you'll see a link to download the windows media file "unforgotten voices." holy guacamole...it's amazing. you won't regret it.

For you writers

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:05:19 GMT

People are getting paid for bad writing. If you don't believe me, go here: http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2007.htm

The winning sentence:
"Gerald began—but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them 'permanently' meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash—to pee.”

Still alive

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 21:22:02 GMT

Lately I've been in this uncomfortable time of conviction and introspection...The vileness of me compared to the holiness of God is generally very disconcerting. I'm proud. I'm arrogant. I almost always have to have the last word. I speak before I listen. I isolate myself from people most all the time. I talk about people far more than I like to think I do. I complain. I don't give God the time or the place that He deserves in my life. And I've trampled on Christ's blood more times than I care to share.

But I think this is a healthy place to be. It's not about me being too hard on myself. Everyone needs to see themselves through God's mirror every once in a while, I think. Without the grace and the mercy of God, I'd probably be dead and in hell right now. Only by His grace do I even have a chance of taking my next breath.

This is the fact that overtook me on Sunday as I watched others praise...I praise God because He is good and does good, but sometimes I have a hard time finding specific things to praise about (which is another thing I have to deal with). I haven't been healed from cancer and I haven't nearly lost a brother in the war. But He keeps me alive. He sees my selfishness and still, in His love for me, allows me to continue living because He knows there is a purpose for me. He knows that I have made a covenant with Him based on the sacrifice Jesus made for me. For that reason, I am compelled to breathe in His grace for me and exhale mercy towards others.

I have to love a God like that.

"Thy mercy, my God, is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart. and the boast of my tongue;
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affections, and bound my soul fast.

Without Thy sweet mercy I could not live here;
Sin would reduce me to utter despair;
But, through Thy free goodness, my spirits revive,
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart;
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground,
And weep to the praise of the mercy I’ve found.

Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own,
And the covenant love of Thy crucified Son;
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy, and pardon, and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy, and pardon, and righteousness mine."

Message

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 20:16:58 GMT

I have this wild-crazy combination of friends. A few of them, like Madame Monotone (known to most as Mary Susan), are quite predictable and bring a sense of stability to my gypsy-like life. Most of them, however, like Sarah, are wonderfully spontaneous and make life a spectacularly vivid adventure. Each of them has brought something unique to my table of community, and I’ve gleaned innumerable lessons from these beautiful souls. A few people in particular have stood out to me, and over the next while I'm going to highlight them here on LJ (or if you're reading the feed on Facebook, then...well, you get the picture).

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from Sarah, my best friend from college, is how to hear--truly hear--music. Before we became friends, I couldn’t tell the difference between an upright bass and a tuba (granted, seeing them is one thing, while hearing is another); I had no idea what a djembe, a didgeredoo, or a sitar were; and I didn’t have the slightest idea of how to use a capo. Music (and capes, but that’s another story entirely), was one of the first things we had in common.

I used to hear music as a whole unit. To me, a song was either good or bad, and there was no in-between. But when you become good friends with someone who can play just about any instrument she lays her hands on (I’ve watched her pick up a shofar for the first time and find all six pitches--a nearly impossible feat, especially for a beginner--within minutes, and proceed to play along with the piano), music becomes more complicated…and more meaningful.

Case in point: Last year I burned a copy of Coldplay’s X & Y album from a roommate. I’ve been a fan since…well, since Sarah introduced me four years ago, and I’d heard this album was quite good. However, I was disappointed when I first played it. It all sounded the same to me.

I visited Sarah a few weeks later and told her how disappointed I was with X & Y. She was surprised.

“It’s like an epic, which is what makes it so cool. Maybe you just haven’t heard it right,” she said to me.

I gave it another shot and we put it into my less-than-satisfactory car CD player. She had a particular song to show me.

In the right people’s hands, music can come alive--it can flesh out into an all-sensory experience. This is why music--good, real, deep, feeling, alive music--must not merely be played, but shown.

My car’s system wasn’t doing the trick, so we played it in her stereo when we got back to her house. She played track number 8, “Message,” for me and pointed out a few things she noticed (an interesting thing about her is that she sometimes plays an entire song only to hear a particular portion of it…I’ve even watched her ask her dad to be quiet in mid-conversation so she could hear a small portion of a song). J I was directed to listen to a particular drum performance in the song. It was so subdued, I would never have noticed it had she not pointed it out. The drums pounded out what seemed to be the heartbeat of the song. I finally heard it.

I’m an English teacher, so part of my job is to teach my students how to take a piece of literature, pick out its parts, and then discover how each of those parts contribute to the whole work of art. One tiny word choice can change the entire meaning of a story or bring flesh to a skeleton page. For example, what if Homer’s cyrens (spelling?) were called mermaids, or just maidens? Our association with the name and the women’s potency would likely be entirely different.

The same goes with music, as I’ve learned from Sarah. A small portion of drumming can contribute to turning a CD into an epic, if the listener has ears to hear. And if you listen closely, you will be able to pick out the difference between an upright bass and a tuba, or a djembe and the bongos. You’ll hear how small parts, when combined, make the whole a masterpiece. Maybe, just maybe in that process, you might find a heartbeat of your own. And maybe then you will hear the epic your life is becoming.

Free tunage by Andrew Osenga

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 16:02:11 GMT

Anybody enjoy Andrew Osenga's music? (He used to be a part of Caedmon's Call...I think maybe he still is to some degree, but he's gone solo)...

Anyway, you can go here and download six tracks off his new cd, Letter to the Editor, for free. It's pretty...clear vocals and good acoustic guit-tar. :)

Tue, 29 May 2007 14:22:41 GMT

"The windows of my soul
are made of one way glass
don't bother looking into my eyes
if there's something you want to know,
just ask
I got a dead bolt stroll
where I'm going is clear
I won't wait for you to wonder
I'll just tell you why I'm here

'cause I know the biggest crime
is just to throw up your hands
say
this has nothing to do with me
I just want to live as comfortably as I can
you got to look outside your eyes
you got to think outside your brain
you got to walk outside your life
to where the neighborhood changes

tell me who is your boogieman
that's who I will be
you don't have to like me for who I am
but we'll see what you're made of
by what you make of me
I think that it's absurd
that you think I
am the derelict daughter
I fight fire with words
words are hotter than flames
words are wetter than water

I got friends all over this country
I got friends in other countries too
I got friends I haven't met yet
I got friends I never knew
I got lovers whose eyes
I've only seen at a glance
I got strangers for great grandchildren
I got strangers for ancestors

I was a long time coming
I'll be a long time gone
you've got your whole life to do something
and that's not very long..."

--Ani DiFranco, "Willing to Fight"

The Israelite Syndrome

Tue, 29 May 2007 14:11:47 GMT

This is an article found on RelevantMagazine.com.

"What Happened?"
--Andrew Fouché

In my 28 years of life there was a four-year period that I spent in a short term missions organization that not only solidified my relationship with Christ, but was also pivotal to shaping who I am today. I was stretched in my faith at this time, as I was called upon to lead and disciple in a capacity that I had never served in before. Through this time, I saw God move in ways that I had only read about before. As I led outreach teams, depended on God for my finances and stepped where God directed me to step, I was continually amazed at His power and faithfulness.

I wasn’t alone in this journey. There were dozens of others like me, and we worked together and lived and breathed the faithfulness of God. After my four years, I moved back to my hometown and eventually took a full time job at a local church. The experiences I had with that organization served as an impetus for the next step that God had for me. But here’s the rub. A lot of people, friends of mine who had the same amazing experiences, have left the faith.

Now I’ll admit, from time to time I ask myself, “What if I just closed the door on my faith and lived for myself?” The answer I always come back to is that it’s too late for me. I know too much. Like taking the red pill in The Matrix to pretend I didn’t know the reality of life with Christ would be impossible. But that doesn’t change the very real fact that friends of mine have done just that. After being leaders and missionaries, they decided to forget it all. How is that possible?

There are a couple of options.

The first is what I call “Israelite Syndrome.” After seeing some of the weirdest, craziest, most amazing, supernatural things in history, the Israelites of the Old Testament still wanted to go back to slavery. Slavery! We’ve all been guilty of this at one time or another. God speaks something to our hearts, or we see something happen that could only be Him, and the next day we forget or rationalize it away. I’d like to think that if I saw a sea part or a pillar of fire lead me on a trek through the dessert that I’d never doubt God again. Odds are that I would though. I do it all the time with “smaller” stuff. Israelite Syndrome is the ability to doubt God no matter what you’ve experienced or seen with your own eyes.

The other possibility—and this is true for any relationship—is that emotions don’t equal a solid relationship. If my relationship with my wife was based strictly on emotion, than it would last a few years at most, and as the emotions declined, so would our relationship. Eventually we’d realize that we didn’t really know or even like each other that much. Because feelings were the only fuel, the relationship would die. My relationship with God is no different.

If everything about my faith is based on the emotion I feel when I’m in a worship service, at a Christian gathering or engaged in some kind of Christian activity, it will die. Eventually, I’ll find myself pointing a finger at those very things that fed my relationship and call them fake. In reality, I was the fake. I had an emotional, almost lust like relationship with God that didn’t go further than my mind and emotions.

Today, I’m only 12 inches away from leaving the faith, walking away, backsliding or whatever you want to call it. The only thing that keeps me from going the same way that friends of mine have gone is my heart. There’s a vast chasm between it and the emotions and knowledge of my mind. Physically it’s only 12 inches, but spiritually it’s quite a ways. I can’t really explain it. It goes beyond knowing and beyond feeling. There is a connection and a knowing in my heart that remains no matter how badly I perform as a Christian. It’s there when I rock as a Christian, and it’s there when I suck. My heart is taken, and there is no room for anything else.

I still have to ask myself, “Can I walk away?” Yes, I could. But if I did, I would be the most miserable person you’ve ever seen, as I try and forget about God and recapture the emotions of my experiences with Him through meaningless relationships and anything else I could shove into my heart. While I pray for my friends who have chosen this path, I can only hope that their search will reveal their heart. And that their heart will lead them back.

A Local Bird with a Foreign Walk

Tue, 22 May 2007 16:51:45 GMT

"The reason so much of today's secular music is so empty is because it is people's message from themselves to themselves. We need something transcendent."

"New Age is a way for [a person] to have his spiritual cake and live his physical fulfillment, too."

--Ravi Zacharias

I'm listening to Ravi Zacharias' podcast on his website right now...my friend Ian mentioned it yesterday as we were talking about how the enemy uses sin to creep in and how he tries to take over our culture--he tries to become like a "local bird with a foreign walk." It might walk a little funny and be different from most people's expectations, but we are supposed to assimilate it into our culture. Many people embrace "spirituality" because this way they are putting their time in, but can still have it their way. And it all leads to emptiness because secular "spirituality" is a message from people to people--people trying to bring themselves up or figure it out on their own. They become like the local bird with a foreign walk...still satisfying their flesh, but walking a little differently. They step out into something different, while living in the same place. It's like eating the icing on a cake full of rat poison.

I'm not saying I've never been guilty of the same thing; it's something I have to constantly check myself on. But the enemy is cunning, and if he can make people think that it's supposed to be okay, even if it's different, he will...and he'll do this because he comes "like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." For him, it is nothing but a game where fallen humanity is the pawn and he is the hand. He deceives, he tricks, he embitters, and he beguiles, and the only way out is through Christ.

This is why I cannot be silent. It's not a matter of tolerance for me anymore. Jesus never preached tolerance; He preached love without bounds and truth in love. Tolerance kills. Death is real, Satan is real, and this life is too short to play party games. If I'm gonna love you [figuratively speaking to all people], I'm gonna love you with my whole heart. I'll listen to your side and love you and be there no matter what you choose, but I will speak up because your eternity is more important to me than you getting to have your cake now.

Cut

Thu, 17 May 2007 18:39:48 GMT

The other day my local news featured teenagers who were involved in self-injury, the prevention and treatment of which is a cause I fully support and promote. I have a friend whose arms, legs, and stomach look like fishnets because of her struggle with self-injury, and I have several other people close to me who've struggled with it. It's not something lots of people want to talk about, but To Write Love on Her Arms has begun to bring the issue to the forefront. It started when a 20-something guy met a young lady who was strung out, struggling with alcoholism, and had cut the words "F*** UP" into her arms. This is a bandwagon Christians need to jump on.

"I'm not a stranger

No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

A fragile frame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut

I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone

I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut"
--Plumb

Thoughts on theology and such

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:45:50 GMT

My best friend is a staunch Calvinist. I'm not. Not at ALL. Therefore, this is one subject we do not discuss. :) I, the Armenianist, put on a shirt and believe I chose it. She puts it on and believes it chose her. Okay, not really. lol.

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,^[j] who^[k] have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."^[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

--Romans 8:26-39

At any rate, I started reading some of John Wesley's writings this week, and one of them, "Free Grace," is a sermon on predestination, the "elect", etc. Though I think he sensationalizes it somewhat, he makes the point that if there truly was an "elect few" whom God had chosen for Heaven, and a majority...well...not chosen for Heaven, then the whole Gospel and the idea of preaching and missions would be moot points. He also goes back to Romans where it says that God foreknew, predestined, called, justified, and glorified people. Wesley asks the reader/listener to consider the fact that for God, there is no time; therefore He cannot necessarily "foreknow" anyone. For Him, all things exist simultaneously. Because of that, Wesley says that God knows who will be "saved" and predestines those who will become believers unto salvation, and that those people will ultimately be called, justified, and glorified. He says that Calvinists take the scripture out of context to make it seem like God simply chooses those who will be saved and those who will not.

But then last night I read back through Romans 8-9 in detail, and I'm starting to wonder...What are your thoughts?

On another note, I also read Luke 4-5 last night, and once again I was struck by the fact that Jesus never once announced who He was. He even silenced the demons He had cast out so that they would not speak His name...it seems to me that He wanted us to figure it out for ourselves. He even asked, "Whom do you say that I am?" when questioned. This is interesting to me because shortly after, Scripture tells us that Pilate's wife tells him that he must hear the truth for himself.

So how does this apply to the lives of believers? What if we really took His example to heart and showed people who He is through our lives, rather than simply saying that we are Christians? In Luke 4, Jesus was given a scroll to read on the Sabbath, and He read the first few verses of Isaiah 61, saying that He was sent to bind up the brokenhearted, etc. What if people heard who He is through our love and actions first, and then discovered Him?

Just a few thoughts to chew on...

"In Your eyes--the light, the heat--I am complete. I see the doorway to a thousand churches. The resolution of all the fruitless searches--Oh, I see the light and the heat. Oh, I wanna be that complete. I wanna touch the light, the heat I see in Your eyes..." --Peter Gabriel